She was lost and disconnected from me through denial and self-preservation, she carried far too much hurt, pain and shame, she was a reflection of raw reality, not her dream, nor her desires of the sweetbox vision she hoped for, the space of tender loving nourishment upon which to grow.

She was a fragment taken away, lost, ripped out, a dispersion of white light, losing the colour and joy from self and life.

Yet I surrender in a state of trust to consciously walk the deep path within, no longer in a state of avoidance, free from fear, willing to have light shown upon to see all aspects of oneself with the vision to heal, to be whole, no longer avoiding my truth, to honour and heal my deep wounds that restrict my now, reflecting in my present experiences.

I find her in her pain, her suffering, her fear, her confusion and disbelief, not knowing what is right, in the cycle of what did she do so wrong? Heavily burdened with the shame, the guilt, the disgust which she has taken on as her own.

I take her in my arms, I tell her I will always be there for her, to love her, to protect her, to honour her with the power of my voice, she sees the love in my eyes for her, she grasps me like a cub bear to their mother.

I hold her in a tight embrace; I reassure her with quiet words her head nestled in the nap of my neck held in my palms. We step away from this fragment of time, where she has been frozen, lost and forgotten, liberating us both as I forgive myself for not finding her sooner.

We are re-united.

Through time, love and trust, she finds her feet, checking in with a side glance to receive a smile of reassurance, saying in silence, I am still here, I still hold you, you are safe and supported, you are loved!

I watch her play with curiosity and wonder, my heart fills with the warmth and nourishment of unconditional love, I smile seeing her joy, she calls me to play with her; I hesitate at first, then throwing caution to the wind, I run down the hill screaming with joy and excitement, laughing, no restrictions, simple joy and being in that absolute moment.

I spin her up high in the sky, with eyes connecting flowing with love, we are back, tears fill my eyes releasing the grief, the residues of hurt and pain- freeing -creating space in our heart to allow peace to flow.

As one, we stand, honoured in truth, every moment a lighter step and skip in curiosity and wonder for life.

🌹🌹🌹

Deeper and Later Reflection (10.01.26)

I wrote this in 2022, when I realised I had been abused as a 4 year old child. This trauma had been held in my body in the shadows of the subconscious and unconscious.

After having my second child, I began to have suspicions that something had happened to me as a child, as I would get a sensation of my father on my back when I would self pleasure, taking me into a vortex of shame and disgust, that there was something wrong with me for thinking such things. Shrouded in shame I held onto these, not sharing until much later, as I thought the issue was me.

It wasn’t until I got covid and it affected my kidneys, did I finally surrender to heal, for with my experience and insight, kidneys hold trauma, fear and shock - it was time I healed myself, as my bladder and kidneys had been my “weakness” for many years. Naturally, knowing what I know now, this was my beautiful body seeking reconnection which I share in my book LOVE2Heal Your Health is in Your Hands, how your body seeks reconnection through the language of pain and dis-ease.

I invite you to also read my article Money-Power-Sex & Control where I share in more detail.

It was when it was confirmed to me by another that I had been abused, that I allowed myself to acknowledge consciously, all of a sudden it was like I had given myself the permission to connect to this pain-trauma, as if two broken lines had been reconnected the conscious to the unconscious and then emotional wave of confirmation came. I felt the truth in my body, not because someone said so, it was because I knew so, from what my body showed me.

Since then, it has been a journey of trust in self through the connection to my body, to allow my body wisdom to have her voice, rather than the mind trying to protect me, from a place shrouded in fear, my amygdala and limbic system, heavily wired in survival mode, fright, freeze and fawn.

Its been a practice of breath and heart conscious connect to learn my truth, to break free from the patterns and conditioning, and to build the neural plasticity of my choices.

Healing isn’t linear, where it may have us believe that once we have fixed it we move on, there is a destination we must get to, and the quicker we get it over and done with the better!

Healing is a spiral, as the Golden Ratio, the Fibonacci Sequence, I believe we orbit within this spiral healing the layers as we go, returning within each cycle to go deeper, to heal and alchemise the wounds and suffering we hold within our body and mind, blood, bones and DNA.

As we navigate the spiral, our consciousness expands, and upon this conscious choice to heal, we return to ourselves that little bit more, a journey of wholeness, of Sacred Conscious Embodiment, to remember our power and Sovereignty, in humbled Divinity - to Know Thyself, awakening from our Soul Amnesia.

A fundamental part of this journey is self love and acceptance, to hold compassion for ourselves to breath and integrate this insight and wisdom.

As I write this, I have revisited my inner child today, as I set aside time for self-care, I was shown through the Sophia Code book by Kaia Ra an initiation to connect with Quan Yin, a beautiful Ascended Master who holds such grace, compassion and composure when she visits me. The grief poured as I realised the shame and blame I still held in my body.

I in the past have become frustrated with my inner child, often feeling she is running the show and masking my perspective in the present moment and life, blocking me from the freedom I desire - this visualisation showed the separation, the lack of compassion I held for self, the lack of self worth and self sabotage, how could anyone blame this beautiful child and her innocence!

Completion of Daughters of the Golden Rose Lineage container, enabled me to finally reach my inner child, previously I would connect with her, yet she wouldn’t stay with me, held safely in a paradigm with my Pop (Grandad). This was because my body was healing, finding an inner safety upon which she could return to, which I share in the video below.

And today, another level and layer of healing occurred; what I saw similar to the beautiful Japanese art of Kintsugi, which brings broken pottery together with gold, my inner child revealed her wounds, her veined cracks and bruises on her skin, to no longer carry nor mask. Within the light of compassion, the unconditional love of Sophia, I saw these dark bruised veins and blood vessels become a golden light holding all as one, then a brightness of light and radiant wholeness.

Thus, I invite you to go gentle with yourself, hold compassion, stillness and love for self, and allow the spiral to reveal within its own grace. To feel it as spiral of freedom gradually revealing itself, rather than the ups and downs of a roller-coaster. It is a matter of perspective as our heart consciousness expands, through these dimensions.

An exciting perspective has been shown to me recently, which I shall explore, is the power to connect to the past and future within the present moment, upon the golden spiral within our hearts. Bringing all paradigms, past and future into a alignment of our Soul and Higher Self, in the embodied present moment, all distortions to our truth and blueprint closed, our truth and divinity grounded.. Our Heaven on Earth!!!

Quantum physics Scientists used a sequence of laser pulses patterned on the Fibonacci sequence to create a new phase of matter that exhibited remarkable stability, allowing quantum information to be preserved for significantly longer periods - what if our heart was the root of this spiral and sequence, which healthy hearts demonstrate?

More to Follow

Big Love

Gemma

🌹

RELATED ARTICLES & RESOURCES

Heart Conscious Embodiment - Discernment & Inner Safety - an energy update of what we are navigating here as Souls and how to support your body to be the foundation on inner safety. Includes a guided meditation and visualisation journey.

What if there was no God - a channelled article written during the Daughters of the Golden Rose Lineage container

What if I Told You? - a channelled article explaining the deep meaning of why we are experiencing this dynamic and potentially deemed chaotic energy

Heart Consciousness Grounding - Guided Meditation following What if I Told You? - heart grounding for Ascension Embodiment

COURSES

Daughters of the Golden Rose Lineage Container Sacred Conscious Embodiment

For the Woman who is Ready to Step into Her Power - The Wise Woman in Her Womb Wisdom

As a Woman Steps into Her Wise Woman Stage, she suddenly sees all the shite she has put up with... aka Menopause!!!

Its not Mood Swings - It Remembering Your Worth - Your Voice

That Brain Fog - well that's you mind trying to ditch the BS

The aching body - well that's your body saying stop doing all this crap for everyone, stop martyring yourself, being the peace keeper at the detriment of your own inner peace and find your boundaries girlfriend!

And when you quieten and listen Dear Soul - you realise - You feel crushed by the systems, and that this tempo was never yours to follow. You were never meant to fit, nor be understood in this outgoing paradigm: it does not value your light.

***

LOVE2Heal - online course is designed to enable you to hold a deeper awareness of self and the ability to create from a greater level of consciousness, that grows a life of LOVE-JOY-PEACE, a deeper connection to self with love, compassion and trust.